twin sleep · twins

Twin Sleep

Y’all. Twin sleep is no joke.

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I’m not going to lie.  With Harper, I was one of those can’t-talk-about-it-because-people-will-hate-me-and/or-I’ll-jinx-it mamas who had a baby who slept through the night insanely early & insanely well.  My smug little self slept later than I care to admit every day.  Those who did know about this wished a terrible sleeper on me for #2 {or other worse things, but I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this one}.

And then I found out I was pregnant with twins.

We joked that we knew we were screwed, but I’m not sure we really believed it.

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Don’t worry, we believe it now.  At least in the sleep category.

This is a 100% real story…

Morning nap. I usually make them take this on the go because who has the patience/time/strength to stay home all morning with a toddler while you make sure your infant twins get good naps?  Not this girl.

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Today we were staying home because my dad & his family were coming by, so just before 9am I went to put the twins down.

For afternoon naps, I sing a song to all 3 babes, put all 3 in their beds & walk out of the rooms.  Sometimes one twin will fall asleep & the other will end up crying once their chatty roommate has gone silent, but usually they both just chat their way to sleep.

Not for morning naps. Not today.

Today we spent thirty minutes {THIRTY. MINUTES.} of one or both of them crying.  I’d go in to soothe one and the other would cry when they saw me & then they’d both cry.  This went on and on. I kept waiting it out in my room & eventually going in when I knew they weren’t going to calm down.  Thank goodness my 2-year-old was playing with her Papa this whole time.

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I finally realize I’m going to have to hold & rock both of them at least for a bit to calm them down.  I pick them both up, sit down & start rocking.

They coyly play “who can grab the other’s binky” a few times as they nestled into me.  It’s cute and lovely but so not the time because hello babies, it’s nap time, thanks so much.  A few minutes later they’re both asleep.

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Immediately I have this overwhelming feeling of sweetness & love & amazingness at cuddling two sweet babies at once.  I can feel both of them breathing deeply and just love watching them cuddled up together and cuddled up with me. Heaven.  This is heaven. This is the sweetest little moment I’ve ever known….

Oh shit.

I’m 100% stuck.

Legit no-one-knows-I’m-in-here, no-one-is-coming-to-take-one, I-can’t-dismount-on-my-own stuck.

I debate trying to put Ellie in her crib while holding Max up.  I’m thinking through how far she’d have to drop down and she’s in my left arm, and would a two-foot-drop onto her mattress wake her up {of course}??

Can I put Max down first?  One hand the over 20-pounder?  Never going to happen.

Do I stay here and soak up these cuddles and this sweet sweet moment?

But shit, I have another kid to check on.  And family coming to visit.

Surely someone will come for me. They’ll realize I’m not down there and wonder what on earth is happening.

I’m guessing it’s now been at least 15 minutes, but who would know with no iPhone and no clock?!

It’s now too late to try to chuck a kid in a crib one-handed.  They’d definitely wake up and it’s now been too long for it to seem like a normal go back to sleep situation.

WHAT THE F DO I DO??? WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? Good gracious they are sweet….

You get the picture.

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Then I realize…. Why can’t they just sleep on their floor?!?  Even if they roll, it’s safe.  Plus, I’ll see them on the monitor. Maybe they’ll just curl up together and sleep sweetly on their {vacuumed yesterday – woo!} carpet.

YES. WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER. GO MAMA, GO MAMA.

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So I literally slither down from the chair {I so wish I had a video of this for you because I’m sure it was quite the hilarious sight}, grabbing both of their heads in hopes of keeping them pinned to my body and asleep.  I throw myself down on the floor so that they {gently???} hit the floor but then I catch myself from crushing them.  Thank God for all those yoga classes I’ve never done.

Then I close my eyes and wait.  Scared to look.  I look.

Ellie is sleeping away as soundly as can be.  Eyes never opened, grabbing on to her lovey, just looking like the most angelic napper there ever was.

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….and Max is staring me right the face like WHAT THE F JUST HAPPENED???

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I pick him up & try to rock him back to sleep.  Put him in his crib. Sneak out {stepping over my one child still sleeping in the middle of her freaking floor}.

Cries.

F. M. L.

So we got a 15 minute nap, a hot yoga move that didn’t crush babies, lots of internal debate, a {hopefully still okay} 2 year old that I haven’t seen in an hour, and one kid who slept for about 8 more minutes in the middle of her floor.

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I’m going to go ahead and call that a successful morning.